Journey of motherhood

While carrying you inside me, I might have to face lots of challenges, being a working mother, starting from arranging nutritious food not only for me but for you as well, struggling the deadline to reach office on time in the horrible Bangalore traffic  and then sitting in office for 8.5 hours and fulfil my responsibilities as an employee apart from morning sickness, tiredness and nausea. I thank you for choosing me your mother and make me feel complete as a women. I still think sometimes, till you are in my womb all your wishes are nothing but my mine I am carrying you with me in office, making you learn virtually data analytics and machine learning. I carry you with me to movie, shopping, ice cream anywhere and you like an obedient child come with me without adding your preferences. But as you grow and come to this world you will have your choice, willingness and preferences. That juncture will be interesting, I need to adjust for you, for your convenience, for your ease, and I am willing to do that. But yes I have earned an identity of myself, I am known not only coz of I am someone's wife or daughter but also because I am somebody, may be very small in this universe but still I have an identity. I would love to enhance my identity as myself and grow in a direction to nurture my identity as well while nurturing you. Things will be clear as the time unfolds , yes waiting for that too :)  

From the womb

Pregnancy, no doubt a wonderful experience. The excitement starts from getting confirmation and gets elevated by each passing days. Though everything comes with its own side effects so as being a mother. With lots of sleepless nights, weeks with too much of vomiting and almost without food, coz whatever I eat, I used to vomit. Not only food sometimes water or even some aroma was enough to trigger a gush inside my stomach. May be the new life was finding it difficult to adjust inside me and he was not happy with coming anything near his neighbourhood.  In-spite of all those sickness, when I first saw you during my scan in the 8th week , it gave me a goose bumps. You are visible only as a tiny spot and your heartbeat as explained by doctor was like a running horse. Oh I came back home thinking only about that Yolk sac and was really amazed by nature's way of developing a human being. To my surprise it was like God's magic to send some-one inside me. First trimester kept on passing with too much of morning sickness, struggle to come to work and arrange nutritious food. Food was an enemy now, but had to find a way coz its all about my child, he should get some nourishment.
Slowly I started to wait for your movement inside me, 4th month passed in this wait, vomiting was reduced  to a good extent, and I was able to go to office and do my daily job. Weekends were reduced to be at home most of the time unlike earlier and stuck to TV. Suddenly on the sunday evening when your dad went outside for his daily darshan to the temple, I felt like some ant crawled in my lower abdomen. Was it my doubt or really an ant was crawling, no nothing was there it was you making your presence felt. I was thrilled, touched my belly to feel you and again waited for you to say hello.
Slowly time is passing, got a great help from your dada and dadi during 5-7th month. Now your presence is felt more often and it is more exciting to touch my belly to feel you. Nurturing someone inside you is really a great feeling.  Actually you are not separate from me, you are my part only and always be.  Perhaps this is a selfless a mother has, they start loving their child before they could see them, meet them or listen to them. A true blind love, without any expectation in return.
Waiting for my next appointment for scan, to see you again and an inherent wait is also there for you to physically come into my life , in my arms, in my lap. But please wait till your Nani comes, as I need my mental support from my mother too before I go to labour and bring you in my world.  :) 

An year of being non Mumbaikar

OOps I could have said it the other way around, "an year in Bangalore" that was not less wonderful tenure, starting another life with my life partner and understanding him day by day, exploring new places, spending vacations, holidays and festivals together.
Alas but everyday I missed you Mumbai